meet sora connor
The esthetician, fitness instructor, and choreographer who believes inviting people into your life, into your circles, and into your bedroom should make you feel good.
How do you practice wellness and self-care?
I do a journaling process that I learned at the Hoffman Process. It’s called a Quadrinity Check-In and they basically divide you into body, intellect, emotion, and spirit. Every morning I check in with that and ask, how does my body feel? Is it tense? Where? Why? And then I say thank you body or whatever part it is. And then I write needs. What does it need? And that is how I start my day, most of the time.
I want to note that investing in these intensive mental health programs is new for me and not something I would’ve done until a couple of years ago. I don’t think everyone needs to do them, and even though I wish it weren’t, I know it’s a real luxury and privilege to attend them. I put off the decision to do Hoffman for many years, but after I’d done it, I realized how impactful it was in every aspect of my life. Some people call it “10 years of therapy in a week,” and I found that to be true. After that positive experience, I was much more open to investing in my well-being and changing my spending habits to prioritize it.
What is cathartic about your journaling practice?
I started journaling when I was making a life change and career change, and I felt a little frantic. Journaling helps me write out all of my feelings and thoughts, no matter how crazy or maybe stupid sometimes they might feel. I write and then I let it go. That time in the morning, getting all that out opens up the rest of the day.
“My journaling is kind of stream of consciousness.”
For instance, I am planning on moving and there are a couple of different places I’m looking at. I feel a little bit of anxiety about that right now, so I am writing it out to see what it is I really need. Sometimes I feel if you’re thinking about it, you forget, so you always have that journal to look back on. Plus, my brain works better when I can see things in writing.
How does your morning routine set you up for your day?
Usually, the things that I consistently do happen in the morning, that’s my time. I will purposefully wake up way before I need to be anywhere so that I can get everything done. The first thing I do, as soon as I open my eyes, is I say thank you. I say thank you to God, the universe, Cosmo my dog, whatever. It sets the tone of the day.
Then I wake up at 5:00 and make the ActivatedYou Morning Complete. It’s this prebiotic probiotic mix and I have a big glass of that in the morning before I do anything. That’s part of the ritual. And then I sit down, I journal, I meditate, and then I take Cosmo on a walk. This is exactly what happens every morning and I’ve been doing it for years. My rituals are all done in a matter of two hours, but I need that time. It’s so important.
How has your mental health been lately?
It’s up and down. For instance, today, it’s great. Today I had time to do all of my things and it’s 80 degrees outside. Yesterday was a little bit of a crazy wreck with the moving. Then sometimes, I feel I’m so busy that my mind doesn’t shut off, which is a new feeling for me. But my mental health lately has been good. But it definitely could be better. And I think that’s okay. I think that’s normal. I think we all kind of go through that and it’s a work in progress.
You went from a professional dancer to esthetician, and also now, a fitness instructor. Do you ever struggle with your identity?
Let’s work backward. Right now, it looks like me being everything that I am and not trying to put myself in any box or compartmentalize any part of my personality or my passions. Before, it was a struggle. I moved from the dance world, which I had been in since I was little. I started ballet in Korea. Then when I moved to America, I started touring with different artists and was perfectly content and happy until I wasn’t.
Now I’ve moved to the skin world and the Pilates world. So when I transitioned and switched careers, it was hard to talk about skincare. I didn’t put it out there on any social media and I didn’t really tell anyone. I was keeping it a secret because I thought people would judge me. I felt like they would think, you couldn’t make it or you didn’t make it. But I have danced with the biggest artists and toured for 10 years. I was at the level where dancers were looking up to me. But in my head, it was perfectionism, which sucks. That transition was difficult.
“But when I put it out there in the world, I completely switched how I felt about it because people were so open, welcoming, and proud.”
But that’s fear that everyone feels when you switch careers or take a big leap. From the get-go, I said, if I’m going to do this, I want to do this all the way. But you have to start somewhere. At this point in life, I’m just trying to be everything that I am. That’s what I want to portray. And I want everyone else to be everything that they are. We don’t have to be stuck in a box.
How do you deal with rejection?
Rejection, now, I can honestly say I don’t care. When I was dancing and obviously in entertainment, that was a little bit harder. I put a lot of pressure on myself to always be better and always be the best. So if I didn’t get something, it really hurt. But also rejection and entertainment are very strange because sometimes you’ll go into an audition, they’ll line you up, and they’ll reject you right away based on what you look like. So starting out, it was rough. But I’ve grown a really thick skin. And at this point, I just don’t care what people think.
How does intimacy and relationships impact your mental health?
Friendships, first of all, are very important. I like to surround myself with people who are go-getters and have their own goals and ambitions and we can bounce ideas off each other. I like to have those conversations with friends that feed my mental health and not drain me.
“With intimate relationships, I’ve gotten to a point in life where if it doesn’t feel right immediately, goodbye.”
I have way too much going on for anyone to come in and disrupt any aspect of my mental health. I love my mental health and I would like to preserve it and keep it thriving and happy. Inviting people into your life, into your circles, into your bedroom, just whoever you surround yourself with should make you feel good.
Is there anything that is an ongoing stressor or that makes you anxious?
Yes and I create it myself and I’m trying to get better at it, but it’s being overly busy. It stresses me out. This is what I mean by boundaries. I would like to not feel anxious. So it’s something that I can control, which is good, but we’re working on it.
When do you feel most at peace?
In the morning.
When do you feel your body tense up?
When I’m tired.
What gives you serotonin?
What does your body language say about you?
I’m open and free. I feel chill.
When do you speak your mind?
next story — sue williamson