— Depression
The celebrity makeup artist who believes sex is like working out. You never regret it.
How do you release endorphins?
Exercise is my number one. Even if I only get in 30 minutes. I used to feel as if I had to work out for an hour, an hour and a half, two hours. I need to get it in. I have to do this. I was so controlling about it, but now I realize as long as I get in some sort of elevated heart rate, it really helps my brain in an immense way. I’ve even been getting up super early, not for my body, but for my mind to get in even 20 minutes if I can.
How do you stay grounded?
Meditation and candle lighting. I get these intention-setting candles and I set an intention, whether it’s creativity, calmness, gratitude, whatever the meal of the day is. I’ll try to meditate for at least five minutes in a quiet space and really try to clear my mind.
I studied transcendental meditation and took a four-day class. My ultimate goal is to get back to that, which is 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. I do the same type of meditation now, but at five minutes or 10 minutes or 15 minutes, once a day. I figure if I’m doing it, it’s better than nothing. But my ultimate goal is to do the transcendental in the morning and at night because when I was consistent, it really, really, really worked.
What is something you look forward to every week?
I like to get silly with my children. But one thing that brings me a lot of joy is watching family Survivor. It’s Survivor, the show, but we watch it as a family. We’ll also watch RuPaul’s drag race. It makes me so happy. I love TV and entertainment.
How would you describe your mental health currently?
To be honest, I feel like I have a grip on it right now. I’m sure that tomorrow I’ll feel differently. But right now, I feel like I’m in a really good place. I’ve taken a lot of the COVID experience and paid attention to myself and my mental health and was able to get to a steady, good place.
How does intimacy and relationships impact your mental health?
I feel like sex is a big part of your relationship. So it is important that you do it. I’ve been married for 18 years and dated him before that. It’s important that you’re aware of whether or not you are being active in your sexual endeavors. So if you realize you aren’t, then you need to put it on the menu. It has to happen.
It can be simple things like cuddling, laughing, or down and dirty go all the way home, home run baby, whatever it is. But feeling that connection. Look, everybody’s I’m tired. I don’t like doing it, but at the end of the day, it’s like working out. You never regret it.
What’s your take on medication, like antidepressants, and supplements?
I am not on any, but my mom, when she got sick, she went on them and she told me she wished she had taken these her entire life. So I am such an advocate for any sort of medication or any supplement that’s going to help you function better, that’s going to make your mind happier. I have been depressed and living in depression is a terrible place to be. Before I knew everything, I’d say you should try to really do therapy and exercise and eat right. And sleep right. It’s so easy. You don’t need medication, but it’s not true. If you have something that can free you, to make you function better, then why not? I think that goes for everything across the board. If it makes you happy, do it. Everyone needs to just stop judging each other. That’s why you’re fucking depressed in the first place.
I’ve done therapy on and off and I love it. It’s great to get somebody that doesn’t live in your every day who will call you out on your shit and really help you see what’s important and how to break a bad pattern.
What makes you stressed or anxious and therefore impacts your mood and mental health?
I pack a lot into every day. This morning, I wanted to work out and I had to get my kids to school. We were running late and not being on time and being punctual really stresses me out. It gets me in a tizzy and it’s when mommy gets a little snappy.
My wise guru daughter always says, “Mom, it’s okay. What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” And I’m always like, you’re so right. Why don’t I think that way? Maybe I’m doing a good job raising you. I always reflect back and think I didn’t need to freak out at drop-off. Being aware is the most important thing and knowing that it’s something that I have issues with. So I’m always trying to breathe through it and realize that it’s not a big deal.
More Open Book Club
— Depression
Artist Kellie Gillespie believes medication isn't something that automatically comes in and saves you, and that art saved her life.
Read Now
— Depression
Live From Bed podcast host, Jade Iovine, believes in talking kindly to herself and not give that shaming voice so much power.
Read Now
— Depression
Makeup artist and beauty brand director, Merrady Wickes, believes it feels like a miracle to be operating in a more present state.
Read Now