Maxine Goynes

I’m 1 of 4 girls and a former collegiate athlete. So there’s something about being in trenches with people when they feel like they’re struggling and you create that safe space. It reminds me throughout my day that this is how you need to show up. I usually train women in the morning and we’ve done it via FaceTime because of the pandemic. I often move with them and we definitely can feel in the workout overcoming adversity on the mat or trying to be malleable and flexible.

“All of the clients that I train, they’re in different places, so it’s such a complex group of people.”
It opens up a space for me to say, what are the challenges? What are the obstacles? And also, what are the blessings in this moment? What are the gifts in movement? Helping people find restored confidence in trusting their bodies and trusting their experiences has been such a blessing for my mental health. And I think any time you can get out of focusing on yourself and actually make that a group experience, the collective can support the individual.

This kind of goes back to what we addressed a little bit ago, which is we need each other. Intimacy, especially during the pandemic, was interesting because for me, I’m learning new things that I can give to myself with regard to pleasure and with regard to sexual wellbeing. At the top of the pandemic, I started to lean into design as a tool for intimacy because some of the things that encourage intimacy feel very intimidating. But I was online and I found the most beautiful vibrator by Maude. I ordered it and it felt like such growth for me. It felt like something I should give to myself. So I feel we deserve pleasure. And I want that for people, whether that’s pleasure with self and being educated in that and being safe in that, and then deciding what makes you feel good.

I was reading the other day that when we give someone a hug and when we give ourselves a hug, our body doesn’t know the difference. And so I’m playing with what does that touch feel like? How often are we giving ourselves that physicality? It’s something that I’ve avoided for a long time. Let’s keep the intimacy at a distance. But I’m learning different ways that you can use intimacy, whether that’s scent or touch or texture or sound. But design is something that really turns me on. So I’m trying to find ways to bring it to every place.

I feel like it’s a tool and there’s no judgment in that. How can we use medication as a tool to support lasting behavior? And what type of habit formation, environment and people in the ecosystem can I create that allows me to use those tools, but also makes me feel encouraged to know that I’m learning new things in the process?

I’ve never had to rely on something outside of myself, but if I need it and I feel called to it and I want it in my life, I hold space for that. I take my supplements and don’t personally take any antidepressants. But I love that my friends and people that I care about have that as a tool in their life. If people feel supported in that, it changes my world experience too.

I would say process. It’s the thing that everyone says, “lean into that,” which I’m learning. I have a lot of expectations and I’m always thinking I want this to be done faster.

I think that any type of anxiety is a gift. I know hearing that could be frustrating because it can also feel very paralyzing and crippling. But I think about what are habits that help me recognize moving towards a direction in a way that I feel supported.

I think anxiety also shapes who you are. If it’s Max without her anxiety or Jayme, without her anxiety, it’s not Jayme. It’s not Max. So I’m learning that my anxiety has gifted me other tools that may make me empathetic, curious, and thoughtful.